The Sheep That Lost Its Way

Recently my dog, who I loved very much, went missing, her name was Brownie. I missed her so much and couldn't come to terms with the fact that I might not see her again. I searched everywhere and refused to give up. 5 days later I got a call telling me that the dog has been spotted, I don't remember the rest of the conversation as I ran out of the house with my hair undone and crumpled clothes. I ran on the road like a mad woman catching the attention of curious onlookers. I was so anxious reaching the spot where they had seen her, what if they mistook her for another dog? what if she is really ill? will she be excited to see me? When I saw her in the distance, I screamed with joy, I jumped up and ran to her. I fell on the ground and hugged her and tears rolled down my eyes. Oh! the joy of finding something that was once lost. I picked her in my arms and held her close to me. That evening we had a party at home, to celebrate her return and sitting there at the party, I felt the pain Jesus must feel when he looses one of his sheep.

Jesus who is the good shepherd, said that he would "go in search of the one that went away" (Mathew 18). He doesn't tie up his sheep and force them to stay by his side, he trusts that they will follow him because they "know his voice" (John10:4). Yet there are some sheep that wander away, looking for greener pastures. What is it that takes them away from the shepherd? Do they think they can make it on their own? There are wolves that lurk in the darkness, those they cannot face alone.

When Jesus found me, I too was lost and weary. I have written about it in my first article (Turning Point). He poured out so much love over me and I wondered, how did I ever fall away from him. I remembered an incident when I was a little girl, probably 10 or 11 where I was alone at home and I wanted to dance. So, I asked Jesus, "dance with me". There in my room I sang a song and danced the waltz with Jesus. What happened to that young girl who was so close to God like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden? I began to look for love and acceptance from people but it always ran short. I strived to make a name for myself so people would take notice of me, but the more I tried to be someone, the more I lost myself. If you had asked me then, "who are you really?", it would have been difficult to answer because I had taken on so many personalities, I wasn't sure which one was really mine. I became fearful and insecure, not willing to trust anyone as I had been let down too often.

When I encountered God, I was suddenly blinded like Saul on the road to Damascus. I realized that I had been looking at the world all wrong and I needed someone to guide me. That is what Jesus did, just as he gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them in his bosom (Isaiah 40:11), he stayed close to me and slowly revealed himself to me as my shepherd. While many mocked me and thought I hallucinating or making up stories about my encounter with God, he sent people in my life who understood and who gave me proper guidance. My greatest support was the Bible which I had heard read in church before, but only now it started to make sense to me. What a celebration it must have been in heaven, the day I believed! Yet, there are so many more sheep wandering away from the shepherd, how do I help guide them back to their fold? There is no one who could love you more than a shepherd who lays down his life for you, that is Jesus, our good shepherd.

St Augustine rightly put it, "God, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find their rest in you."

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